Not Accepting Defeat....

    Obviously it is time that I accept the fact that I and my family are no better here than we were in the first place. Yes it helped to have a home for a bit but, it's just not working out. The kids are always fighting,sneaking and breaking things.I tried to separate them putting my daughter in my room.However they still found ways to sneak, argue through the walls or at the doors and when outside would fight or break rules.So I put them back in the same room when school started,figuring if their going to do it anyway why should I loose my privacy.If they can't get along for 5 hours a day after school(going to separate schools) then I don't know what to say.There is nothing more to take away,I have tried everything and nothing seems to matter to either of them.I am really tired of hearing he NEVER did this until she got here. You can't blame someones actions on someone else reguardless of when the behavior started. I hold my daughter responsable for her actions. I also think this household needs MORE FAMILY time then dividing the family.As parents we can't hide from the problems.We HAVE to face them and be involved. Isolating ourselves away is NOT the answer.But I can't do it alone I need the help of ALL the parents involved. I guess instead we admit defeat and go home. Because then everything will go back to prefect. And we can claim we did the best we could.Or did we? I for one won't stop trying to be the best parent I can be even if it means reaching out for help from professionals.The stress is so high at this time and with my health the way it is.I may not be perfect but trying something to make it better is better than nothing.I guess doing what's best for my family is the best choice I can make.Nobody ever said parenting was easy but did there have to be so many obstacles along the way? We will make it through this because I refuse to give up even if it means not giving up right here but going somewhere else and not give up then I'll do that.Time to refocus and take a new look at what the opitions are now and find a new way to succeed.I may be pushed down at this time but I am now where near out,I'll just get up dust off and find another way.

Reality setting in...

        Okay, so now that a few days have passed. It is really sinking in about the changes this means in my life. However, I have also realized the benefits to these changes. That have to be made for my health. Eating better with a gluten free diet as well as cutting sugar out of my daily routine. Is going to increase my weight loss and improve my health over all. Hair, skin, nails, my ability to breathe will improve a lot even more, and if I can get the mind set to quit smoking it would improve altogether. So I am looking for my first goal for my weight, please read the question at the bottom of this blog and let me see your thoughts on where to start. Thanks for your thoughts. 

Welcome to my fight back journey.

I have created this blog to be able to help me in my goal of taking my health back.. I was diagnosed with Grave's Disease, a Gluten allergy as well as the MTHFR Gene all in the last month. In Apirl of 2010 I weighted 189 lbs., today I weight 270 lbs. I also have Hoshimoto's Disease, diagnosed 9 years ago. So this my way of fighting back to get my health back. I will post starting photos soon as well as throughout the journey.I will leave all my feelings, thoughts, emotions and frustrations here on this blog. I look forward to the advice, support and encouragement from all of you my family and friends. I want my life back so to do it. I am Taking my health back now!!!!